Bigfoot Found – Was Living in Unfrequented Antique Shop This Whole Time

Many North Bend residents and Sasquatch aficionados are excited with the recent news that Bigfoot has been discovered.  They are also confronting themselves with the realization that he has been living here in a dilapidated antique shop this whole time. 

In an exclusive interview, Bigfoot explained the chain of events leading to his discovery.  “I was really hankering for some Subway, but my DoorDash app stopped working last Tuesday.  Without a delivery option, I decided to head out in public for the first time in many decades.  On my walk over to Subway, people kept pointing and taking photos.  I was quite surprised by all the fuss.  Sometimes a craving for a Chicken Caesar Wrap can change everything.”

Bigfoot explained he has been living in North Bend for decades, enjoying the beautiful scenery and idyllic views that the Snoqualmie Valley offers.  A frequent off-trail, back-woods hiker, Bigfoot admitted “I always have suffered from some social anxiety, but I realize now that I let it control my life.  I regret all the missed conversations with valley residents – I have some making up to do – I’m very excited to share my unique story, but I'm also excited to hear what I’m sure will be fascinating stories from all my neighbors and new friends here in the valley.”     

The cast and crew behind the locally filmed documentary “Hunting Bigfoot” are now rumored to be filming a sequel to the 2021 film, tentatively named “Hunting Bigfoot 2: You’re Kidding Me, Right?”  It is currently in production and is expected to premiere at the North Bend Theatre later this fall.

Bigfoot, also commonly referred to as Sasquatch, is an ape-like creature who resides in North Bend.  He enjoys hiking, fishing, and Subway sandwiches.


  1. Can't believe my favorite cryptid likes freaking Subway.

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