The View From The Haystack

*Your local source for satire (and snark) about North Bend and the Snoqualmie Valley....

The View From The Haystack - local news satire blog

*Your local source for satire (and snark) about North Bend and the Snoqualmie Valley....

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Opinion: Valley Voices

Showing posts from June, 2022

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94% of Valley Residents Agree - Thomas the Train 'Creepy AF'

on June 03, 2022

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Tom Douglas Opening New Truck Stop Restaurant Off Exit 34

North Bend will soon have an original take on truck stop cuisine. Flush with cash from a recent pandemic aid package windfall, famed Seattle restaurateur Tom Douglas is opening a new restaurant in Truck Town, just off of I-90's Exit 34. The restaurant will be located in the space vacated by the old Country Pride restaurant, which closed late last year. Douglas could not be reached for comment, but spokesperson Tandy Nicklesen confirmed the plans, “We have been looking at further expansion on the Eastside, so let’s get a little crazy! Everyone knows about Tom Douglas’ success in inventing overly extravagant gourmet pizza with his Serious Pie restaurants. Now he is going to bring his creativity and restauranting skills to a food genre never before fully examined - truck stop food.” Tannerwood resident Bill Chambers is looking forward to having a fine dining option in North Bend, "I’m eager for the chance to overpay for an over-thought, reimagined chicken fried steak.

City of North Bend Dismisses Rumor That Jeff Bezos Plans To Buy Mount Si

The North Bend City Council has fed into rumors that Jeff Bezos is planning to purchase Mount Si. When confronted with the rumor, the City Council simply released a statement, “We cannot comment on any such rumor, but just know as your City Council, we will never stop working to find new and innovative ways to help destroy any remaining views or natural beauty of our city." Since the statement, rumors have been rampant that Mount Si is indeed on the wish list of Seattle billionaire and Amazon founder, Jeff Bezos. Some have speculated that after purchase, his unconventional plans include hollowing out the mountain to create a secret underground lair. Others have wondered whether Bezos would simply prefer to carve his own likeness on the mountain, or even use the mountain as a launch site for one of his Blue Origin rockets. The Snoqualmie Valley Chamber of Commerce prefers a combination of all three options. Director Jaydan Miles is hopeful that any physical changes made to Moun

Headlines from The Needling - Seattle's Only Real Fake News

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Mount Si Celebrates Hosting One Millionth Second Date

Living Snoqualmie - Snoqualmie Valley's (Really) Real News

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The View From The Haystack is a parody and news satire website. All articles contained within this website (and on its social media accounts) are fictitious... no matter how believable or similar to real events they may appear. When public figures or actual businesses are mentioned by name, the corresponding story details are invented. In all other cases, any resemblance to actual persons, businesses, or events is entirely coincidental.